Many years ago, I was experiencing some major losses many of which were by choice. I realized what had to be done before I could truly begin again. In the months and years to come, we will all have these types of experiences.
Below you will find the introduction to that article. If you want to read the entire piece, please go here.
“New beginnings, turning over a new leaf, wiping the slate clean, starting over…at the dawn of yet another year many of you will be thinking about beginning again right now. Do you want to be healthier? Are you ready for new relationships? Do you want a more fulfilling job/career? You may make an effort to bring these things to fruition but is it really about ‘starting over’ in life, or, will you simply make a few changes because you are bored or dissatisfied with the status quo? Recent events in my life have resulted in my understanding the concept of beginning again in a whole new and astonishingly bright light. Wiping the slate clean involves letting go of (almost) everything/one in (almost) every area of your life. It requires multiple losses/endings which were either foisted upon you by fate, or, were made via your own free will. I equate these endings to buildings being demolished. Once destroyed, the rubble needs to be cleared completely before anything new can be built on the same surface. This clearing of the debris is the equivalent to the human grieving process which is the natural response to any profound loss in life. Grief is time and energy consuming, just like the job of clearing up shattered pieces of construction – the greater the losses (or the number of buildings demolished) the longer it takes to ‘wipe the slate clean.’ Until the debris is properly swept away, you cannot start over both literally, and, metaphorically speaking. That is, attempting to begin new relationships, jobs etc., before you have grieved in earnest will only lead to the same life choices or ‘mistakes’…it would be like trying to build new dwellings on a pile of rubbish – everything would collapse every time you tried. Trying to create something new, lasting and solid in life cannot begin on a foundation of psychological pain, desperation and despair. This must come from a place of love – most importantly, self-love.”
Helen
