Spiritual Awakening
I had to discover
Why I came here
And I had to discover
Who I was
A stubborn old soul
That did not know
That did not see
God
Now I can see and feel
The Grace of God
After much sorrow
After much pain
I can see
I can feel
God’s Love for me
This Love I can now
Give to myself
Freely
(Copyright Helen Papadopoulos 1994)
This poem is the introduction to the last chapter of my book, “Phoenix Rising: Healing from Sexual Abuse through Spirituality.” I am still working on it but it is almost done – Thank God! It has been a very difficult and equally rewarding journey which has allowed me to heal far more deeply than I ever thought possible from such vile acts of abuse. Below is the rest of the start of this chapter which I hope will inspire you as much as it did me when I wrote it.
It took me a long time to Know and Love God as well as Know and Love my Self. For most of my life I did not believe that I had to Love my Self in order to feel it for others or life itself because I associated self-love with selfishness. This is partly because of my conditioning as a woman and the rest was due to the fact that I was treated so abominably by so many people early on in life. That is, I was led to think, feel and act in ways that only required giving without the expectation of anything good in return.
I have also realized that Love is the most over-used and abused word/concept in the English language. It is often associated with sex for men and self-sacrifice for women. Romantic love is also mistaken for Love. Of course there are different kinds of love: for children, pets, family, friends, hobbies, food and so on but unless this comes from a deeper, spiritual place it is not Love. For me this means the state of peace and grace that is felt when communing with nature, when connecting with the Creator, infinite and all-encompassing. On a human level it is essentially nurturing, respectful, accepting and compassionate. I know that we all come from this place – even the vilest individuals (some of whom I introduced you to at the beginning of this book) – however, this does not mean that I have to Love everyone. I would be lying if I ever claimed this as so many do when they use the word to show how spiritually ‘evolved’ they are or to manipulate those around them – when it is not Real it is not Love.
My first indication of True Love came about in my early twenties when so much crumbled around me and it seemed as if, for the first time ever, I had no life-line to hold onto. God came to my rescue.
Copyright Helen Papadopoulos 2012.
Happy Healing!
Helen
