Love is really what it’s all about – it is the catalyst for Creation on both the macrocosmic (global, or universal) and microcosmic (individual) levels. After all, you cannot create from a hateful, fearful place.

Most of you probably preoccupy most of your time with romantic love but that is not the real thing (more on this below). There are, however, many kinds of love that, I believe, fall into two major categories: the love of people (children, family, friends, co-workers, etc.) and the love of things, both tangible and intangible (your car, home, career, food, clothes, hobbies, music, writing, etc.). (I wanted to add pets/animals here but I wasn’t sure about the category – since they are live creatures, they are more likely to fit into the first one.)

When you say that you love someone, or something, what do you mean?

What is Love?

My understanding of this feeling, or state of being involves, first and foremost, a feeling of safety. I have never felt unsafe around anyone, or anything that I loved, or by anyone who loved me back. ‘Safe’ means that I am treated with respect, told the truth and taken care of if, for some reason, I cannot do this for myself. This sense of profound security brings with it peace and calmness. This can also be felt in the body, as a deep sense of relaxation and warmth. Everything is clear, makes sense, and I am happy to be open with those who are loving (or that I love). I am happy to be doing what I love (i.e. writing). 

Love is not just an emotion – it requires consistent respectful, nurturing actions toward the one(s) that you claim to love, and, by those who claim to love you.

Of course, this does not mean that everything is peachy keen all of the time…how many do this during the honeymoon phase of a romantic relationship?

The Real Meaning of Romance.

Romance: to forge and tell fictitious stories.

Romantic: not sensible about practical matters; idealistic and unrealistic.

So…romance doesn’t have anything to do with love, true physical and emotional intimacy – it’s all about lies, or not living in reality, which is what actually happens in that early part of most ‘romantic’ relationships. So many people lie about who they are, what they do, what they want, what they believe in, and so on, in order to seduce the other individual. However, a relationship that starts as a friendship, where people are more likely to be honest about themselves, has a far better chance of creating an enduring bond…and that would actually be Real Love.

Phony Love: “I love everyone”.

Here we have those who claim to love every single individual in the world – this of course includes rapists, murderers, psychopaths and so on. 

So, if your loved one is raped, will you love the rapist?

If the answer here is ‘yes’, will you demonstrate loving actions toward the rapist by supporting her/him when s/he is charged with the offense, or in some other way? If you do this, I will assert that you do not love your loved one, even though you claim to do so because you “love everyone” – it is a false statement. I doubt that your loved one will love the rapist. If you insist that s/he does, you are at best, insensitive, at worst, abusive – neither are loving actions toward a loved one.  

“I love everyone” is as fictitious as romantic love. 

It is now time for the Real Thing.