I have dealt with this issue before in other articles (hyperlinked at the end of this post) but I would like to revisit it now considering what is going on in the world. I will expand on it a little further than I have before, too.

Stigmatizing people is always about controlling them. This usually involves silencing people who speak the truth, or manipulating them to behave in a certain way (i.e. to comply). We have seen this in the past year, or so, with the anti-masker/anti-vaxxer rhetoric. So, those people who know what is really going on in the world and refuse to be controlled, are labelled “selfish”, “dangerous”, “crazy” etc.

This type of psychological coercion happens all of the time, in all types of situations. If they who seek to control others, no matter what their reasons (e.g. fear/insecurity, psychopathy) cannot do so, they will blame, or shame the individual(s) that they cannot control for their inability to control them. Are you picking up what I am putting down here?

Let’s see, what other labels besides the ones mentioned above, are used to silence, discredit, or shame people who will not conform: egotistical, stubborn, judgmental, anti-social, aggressive, arrogant…feel free to add to this list.

Be Wary Of The Word “Compromise.”

Compromise has two main meanings which are opposites: the positive one, involves reaching some kind of an agreement where both, or all, parties in a situation are happy with the outcome, deal, etc.; the negative one, is related to compromising yourself – your principles, or your truth. Notice the word “promise” contained within the word compromise and this will give you a clue as to its meaning: the positive meaning, involves promises made to other people that must be kept; the negative meaning, is about NOT honoring promises made to the self.

So…the controlling types like to use the first meaning of compromise in order to get you to do the second meaning of compromise. Think about that the next time someone asks, or demands, that you violate your own standards, or truth, under the guise of “compromise.” If you permit such a compromise, then you have manifested the negative meaning of that word – it is a form of self-abuse. You have the right to refuse to be controlled by other people, no matter who they are, or what they promise you. You have the right to be free.

Helen

Transforming Group-Think Into Self-Think

The Stigma Of Being Righteous

Assertiveness Revisited