When all of your known self-healing techniques, practitioners, pharmaceuticals and any other medical, or therapeutic methods have failed there is nothing left but to


For some of you this may involve ‘faith’ or ‘trust’ in something very powerful and intelligent. It could be God (in any name across all religions or spiritual faiths) or it may be a belief in your own Energetic Self/Essence. In my opinion, God and your Essence are one and the same.

When you let go, transformational healing may take place spontaneously as you are permitting greater access, or connection to this omnipotent/omnipresent energy. To put it in more concrete terms, your conscious brain releases its protective filter and allows the subconscious to do the intelligent therapeutic work that only it knows how to do.

Even if healing does not take place when, or how you expect it to, there is a reason for this. There may be more lessons to acquire from a difficult situation before there is change (sometimes there are ‘spiritual contracts’ between you and certain individuals and until your issues are resolved, or you have fulfilled some purpose together you are stuck with them). In Eastern philosophy and the New Age arena this is called ‘Karma.’

In relation to persistent negative and painful life experiences there are three possible Karmic explanations. For example, if you are constantly in abusive relationships it could be that… Firstly: you were abusive in a previous time(s) and now you need to learn how that feels. Secondly: you have chosen to help people who have been abused and so must live this in order to understand them. Thirdly: is the combination of the first and second types of Karma. (There is also inherited Karma which requires in depth work with a healer well-versed in this area.)

This explanation is not justification for recurring abuse, or the ongoing suffering of any human being. Karma is about learning and repetition is an important part of learning. In school you were/are always revising lessons via quizzes, exams, essays, oral presentations, projects, etc. In life you are tested repeatedly in various situations, such as, your relationships with others, how you deal with dilemmas and accomplishing your goals.

Karma is only one way to make sense of long-term painful ordeals that you are having difficulty resolving and/or releasing. Sometimes the letting go involved in healing requires one or more of the following: finding another method, practitioner, or perhaps inventing your own techniques; ending a toxic relationship (even if it is a blood relative), or leaving a lucrative career that is making you miserable. It may be about making a tough decision that no-one else will support.

Healing (or becoming whole) is more than dealing with one problem at a time – it is about understanding the purpose of your whole existence. If you know why you were born then your issues are easier to handle. That is, when you make sense of or find meaning in, your overall life experiences this, in itself, is therapeutic. Are you here to help people heal, to make music, tell entertaining stories, to educate, build things, raise children, save the environment? If you know your reason for living letting go is more doable as you will be preoccupied with creating what you were born to do.

Regardless of your individual circumstances, the act of letting go brings about a life change creating a loss which – if perceived as negative by you – leads to grief. You may want to hold on to the old ways or people afraid of the pain involved or the possibility that there is nothing/one else – it may even seem as if you are giving up. However, life is about rebirth and renewal and it will reward you when you let go by bringing in the new – this experience of the new lays the foundation for your self-transformation.

This article is a modified chapter from “DIY Therapy: Simple Self-help Skills.”