Accountability and forgiveness are incompatible concepts – I will explain in some detail below using modified excerpts from previous articles.
Accountability: the fact or condition of being accountable; responsibility.
Accountable: 1. required or expected to justify actions or decisions; responsible. Synonyms: liable, chargeable, to blame (i.e. guilty).
Definitions of Forgiveness from my article Forgiveness Is Necessary For Healing – NOT:
“Forgiveness” (noun): 1. the act of forgiving; the pardon of an offender, by which he is considered and treated as not guilty. 2. The pardon or remission of an offense or crime; as the forgiveness of sin or of injuries. 3. Disposition to pardon; willingness to forgive. 4. Remission of a debt, fine or penalty.
Black’s Law Dictionary (Tenth Edition)
“Condonation” (noun): a victim’s express or implied forgiveness of an offense, esp. by treating the offender as if there had been no offense. “Condone” (verb): to voluntarily pardon or overlook. “Condonable” (adjective). (This definition is a legal one as it is taken from a law dictionary. It is almost identical to the regular definition of forgiveness in the dictionary definition above it.)
Note that the word “healing”, or phrases such as “letting go of anger or bitterness” are absent from these definitions.
The primary definitions are highlighted in red – read them carefully.
So…forgiveness requires the individual who has been wronged (victim) to treat the wrongdoer (offender) as if s/he has done no wrong (as if there had been no offense) – also known as, DENIAL.
Denial hinders healing for an individual who has been hurt via the actions of another, therefore, forgiveness does not have anything to do with the healing of the one that was harmed… Forgiveness is about not holding the offender accountable for her/his actions, therefore, it benefits the offender.
Forgiveness, or its synonym, condonation, is a legal term as I explain below in excerpts from my article To Consent, Or Not To Consent?:
The Doctrine of Condonation: Within the legal profession, condonation (or a condonance) is a defence argument sometimes made when an accuser has previously forgiven or chosen to ignore an act about which they are now legally complaining. In some legal jurisdictions, and for certain behaviors, it may prevent the accuser from prevailing. It is most frequently presented during divorce proceedings, though it is also used in other legal contexts.
Black’s Law Dictionary (Tenth Edition) “Condonation” (noun): a victim’s express or implied forgiveness of an offense, esp. by treating the offender as if there had been no offense. “Condone” (verb): to voluntarily pardon or overlook. “Condonable” (adjective).
Forgiveness is a legal concept, one that involves absolving an offender. Even though for the most part, I do not find justice in the legal system, I have to say that when it comes to forgiveness/condonation, how it may play out in the court room, is the way it plays out in real life. In reality, we are all subjected to Natural Law, which holds people accountable for their actions. If, in daily life, you are forgiving people for actions that you find objectionable, they will be visited upon you again, even if not by the same individual(s). This is because you are giving your implicit consent.
Life (Nature, God, the Universe), will not step in to save you when people keep screwing you over, or commend you for not holding people accountable because you have broken The Law when you do so. In fact, what happens in daily life mirrors what occurs when Judges apply the Doctrine of Condonation: they tell the accuser/plaintiff that they are not owed anything by the defendant (the one who screwed them over) due to previous acts of condonation. They are being told: Suck it up, Buttercup!
You have Free Will so that if you decide to forgive people – let them off the hook – you should be prepared for the consequences. Minor transgressions where people may lie to protect other people, are forgivable since the intent was never to cause harm. However, forgiveness of crimes such as, theft, rape and murder, will only lead to more of the same. Why? Because you are giving your implicit consent – you are tacitly saying, “It’s OK, you may keep victimizing me.”
So, when I refer to accountability in this article, I am not only referring to those who commit heinous acts – I am also speaking to people who think they are doing the right thing when they let wrongdoers get away with their wrongdoing. YOU, too, are accountable – responsible – for the state of the world by giving your unspoken consent to such people via the act of forgiveness.
The true meanings of words create reality – learn more here & here.
Helen
