“Abused people abuse people.”
I touched on the foul stench of this insidiously abusive statement in a recent article, You Cannot Abuse An Abuser.
The quote above is related to the “Cycle of Abuse” theory that has convinced so many people that this is always true when nothing could be further from the truth. Before I get into my analysis here, I will disclose that my views are based on extensive personal and professional experiences. If you think this is too unscientific for you, then what is contained herein is not for you. I am familiar with the scientific method because I was a science student. It is not the ultimate arbiter of knowledge, or truth, especially when it comes to psychology (find out more here). Also, psychiatry/psychology in its current form, has nothing to do with understanding human nature, or healing: it is intended to subvert both of these things. (Psychology originated in Hellas thousands of years ago, but was co-opted and turned into a money-making, mind fucking machine by the usual suspects.)
There are reasons that the aforementioned philosophy is peddled so heavily: firstly, it excuses abusers; secondly, it blames victims who react appropriately to said abusers. I elaborate below:
1/ Psychopaths (this includes similar personality types, such as, sociopaths, narcissists, etc.) are people who are abusive because this is who they are. If they are abused, they can use it as an excuse for doing what they were going to do anyway. Generally speaking, these people get off on hurting other people – take a moment to let this sink into your noggin.
It is difficult for people not wired like them to accept that certain individuals could be born evil, so they look for an external reason, or cause for their behavior. In many instances, upon deeper investigation, they will find that they were not abused. In fact, many of them lie about having been violated in order to be let off the hook if they are caught. What they often do is accuse some phantom offender from the past of doing the same things that they do to other people. Or, they accuse their victims of being their abusers. This way they get sympathy: “Oh, you poor thing, that explains why you act like the spawn of Satan.” There is no form of medical, or psychological intervention that will ‘heal’ these people. Love, rainbows and unicorns will not have a positive effect on them, either.
2/ Victims/survivors who express their anger/rage toward their offenders are condemned as ‘abusive’. This silences and stigmatizes them – it also thwarts their recovery in the following ways: they cannot express (release) the extent of the harm caused to them by the actions of the abusers; they are blamed for having a normal response to a violation which may, depending on their frame of mind, lead to some kind of self-harm; they begin to mistakenly believe that the abuser’s actions are their fault. This may lead to them internalizing their anger which will cause depression. There are all sorts of meds for depression, so you can see why this kind of attitude toward victims is aided and abetted by the medical/psychiatric profession: it is super-profitable.
When victims/survivors come across people who mistreat them, whether it is in the same way as their perpetrators, or some other way, any assertive, or even aggressive response, if necessary, will be seen as ‘abusive’ because they were abused. It becomes a Catch 22 situation for the victims because they will be blamed for having any normal response to being screwed over. If they do not respond, they are labelled as those who embody “victim consciousness”, thus perpetuating their own victimhood. This is yet another way to let perps off the hook.
Do you see the perversion embedded in this mentality? Perpetrators can play the victim in order to be excused but victims trying to heal for real – those not following bogus New Age/psychiatric tenets – are deemed the perpetrators.
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” ~ @ debihope (Twitter January 2010).
Victimization Is NOT Necessary For Growth, Or Any Other Reason.
I hear the following as a justification for victimization: “everything happens for a reason.” This usually means that the victim needs to learn lessons which ultimately excuses any atrocity. When it comes to victimization “the reason” does not apply to the victim, it applies to the victimizer. The cause of their abuse lies solely within them. Then we have the wonderful “you attracted it because they are a mirror of you” which is more victim-blaming that I have already dealt with here and here.
The other one I hear a lot is, “the world is a stage and we are all playing our part”: this is yet another way to excuse absolutely everything. I believe this philosophy was unleashed into the world by those who rule it because they are the Masters of Deception, Lifetime Actors. They are always pretending to be someone else in order to get away with their abuses. (I know Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage” – he is from the families that rule the world.)
Other abusers have taken on this way of being by convincing themselves that they have done good by screwing people over. My brother was at the receiving end of such sage advice from people who ripped him off in business and messed with him to the point that he was suicidal. One of them said the following to him (I am paraphrasing): “You should be grateful to us that we taught you a lesson about trust. You should not be so trusting.” If this isn’t evil justifying its own existence, I don’t know what is…
Life is painful enough without any form of victimization being necessary to help people evolve. Relationships end, people die, or are injured: all events that are part of life that for the most part, are not intentional acts of harm. If all forms of victimization evaporated, pain would still be a part of life but there would be a lot less of it.
What Would You Do?
Sometimes, I ask people who consider themselves to be spiritual, or evolved, what they would do if they found out that a loved one (this includes a pet) had been raped, beaten, or murdered: I never get an honest answer. They perform various acts of mental, or linguistic gymnastics as they struggle to come up with a response that will not contradict their bogus beliefs. They are not only dishonest, they are aiding and abetting perpetrators. What does this tell you about their level of ‘enlightenment’?
If they think that question is confronting, what about this one: What would they do if a loved one was being violated right in front of them? Would they send the perp love and light, start chanting “Om Shanti Om”, or stop the scumbag by any means necessary?
What would you do?
The System Is Rigged.
When victimizers are excused, they are not held accountable. Even when those they have harmed confront them, they can still make excuses, or deny the occurrence of their abuse. Normally such confrontations hold the doers of said harm accountable for their actions. However, this is not encouraged in ‘society’ as there is a push towards forgiveness which is based on zero accountability. (Spiritual types will tell you that victims need to forgive in order to release themselves from their pain. They are regurgitating the false narrative peddled by those who invented the notion of forgiveness so that they will not be held accountable for their atrocities. Forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with healing: this concept is one of the biggest psyops of all time. If you want to know more, go here & here & here.)
This sentiment is reinforced by the psychiatric profession: as a psychology student, I learned that perpetrators are mostly excused due to their ‘personality disorders.’ Victims, however, are bombarded with life-long pathological labels and pharmaceuticals. So, victims are perceived as the problematic ones that need ‘fixing’. They will call it “therapy”, or “healing”, but I witnessed nothing of the sort. This is why I chose not to become a psychologist.
We live in a purposely created upside down world designed to keep people sick and weak. It is now time for humanity to turn it the right way up for its own sanity and empowerment.
Helen
